Total-waste-of-time movie...

I have to say I do have quite a number of movies that come to mind when thinking that they were a total waste of time. Looking at the list of movies I have in mind, it seems that they all are romantic comedies. I'm not really an avid fan of romantic comedies for the sole purpose that they pretty much have the same story line. It's like if you've seen one of them you've seen them all. I hate how endings can be so predictable and in romantic comedies, sometimes there really is no point. It always ends up so perfect and everything is so happy that it isn't believable anymore. I understand that some movies need to be happy and need to be simply feel good. And yes, I do agree that there are a lot of them that really do make me feel good. But what I think makes a movie such as this a total waste of time is having a shallow plot, having sucky characters, sucky actors, no plot development, a bad set, not having a credible storyline i.e. a story which carries something too impossibly, no good elements i.e. choreography to save it, or musical scoring or whatever, and of course, a pointless story. When you watch a movie, the only thing that really gets you into the movie is the fact that the story has a valuable point that it wants to get at. At the same time, the reason for wanting to get at this isn't shallow or selfish. That's for me at least. Movies that fall under this would be Raise Your Voice (Oliver James was so ugly there pa! so that didn't help.. ), Lakehouse (bad acting *blinkblink* useless, annoying plot), Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (need I say more?), The Prince and Me, Bring It On Again, Mulan 2, First Daughter, and Chasing Liberty.

Probably the movie I'd consider a TOTAL waste of my time would be the First Daughter. This movie came out after Chasing Liberty and the funny thing was, it had a SIMILAR if not IDENTICAL plot. Having to go through a total unoriginal plot was excruciating enough. And to top this off, the acting was lackluster i.e. I wasn't really drawn into the characters, rather I was more annoyed with how the actors carried the characters. There was no value in the point of the story and it all just seemed so superficial. There really is nothing that carries the movie. Nothing makes you want to care or sympathize with what's happening. Plot development was slow to the point that it became draggy. This was probably because it was so predictable already. I mean this isn't the first time we've seen this kind of plot development. It looks and sounds too up in the air and you don't really feel for it. We can't really swallow it. In the end, you end up just staring at the screen thinking of some other thing or fall asleep in the cinema. This movie was a TOTAL waste of my time. (Sorry to the people who made this movie... I understand movie making is hard and all. But. yeah... you're never going to get to read this anyways.. hahaha!!)

Favorite movie?

"What is your favorite movie?" is probably one of the most frequently asked questions and at the same time the question I can never answer. It was only just now that I realize what my favorite movie actually is. And to answer this, I needed to ask how I'd classify something as my favorite. It had to be something I could watch over and over and still not get sick of it. It had to be something that I can still look back on and could sit and watch the whole thing of (especially since recently, my patience for watching movies hasn't really been the best). It has to be something that has really struck me. This movie brings me back to a childhood favorite, the Disney version of Peter Pan. Yes, ok. I'm a kid at heart. And yes, I don't want to grow up.

Why's Peter Pan my favorite movie? Aside from this having to be a childhood favorite, the story of Peter Pan is something that a lot of us can relate to. Although there are those who are eager to grow up and get into college, there are still many of us who would rather stay a kid (and I'd have to consider myself under this category). The story tells us that there will always be a child in us no matter how old, or young, or how mature we can be. Though when I was younger, I never really realized it, now I do. Peter Pan is one of those movies that when you watch again after some time, you find that you have a different perspective on things. Though it may not have touched me as much before even if I was OBSESSED with it as a kid, when I see it now, I've come up with new insights and new ideas on the movie. All in all and most importantly, I love Peter Pan basically because it's just an extremely fun movie to watch. Everything about it is light. It's a feel good movie that'll get you singing along at one point and terrified at another. It combines a whole lot of elements that aren't really seen in a lot of movies. I guess a lot of what was in the movie, i.e. the plot and the characters, appealed to me as a child. It's something that was-and is- so me in a certain sense. I guess because of this, and because it bridges the me now to the me then and keeps me a kid, I love this movie. It has become my Neverland.

another letter.. for the sake of writing, i guess? haha!

hi buggy-bun!!! *smiles and waves* can i ask you a favor? *smiles*
can you tell all these people stuff for me? :D please. you get a personalized letter naman eh! hahaha! as if that does any good.. but yeah.. haha.. you know i love you and i trust you and i'm asking you this cuz i'm positive you could get this done.. hehe.. *smiles very big*

tell lola not to be afraid of the dark. and to stop cooking weird things every now and then for mara and rolo's sake. there isn't any food in the house sometimes cuz all the kitchen cooks are her unknown dishes. tell her that her sane dishes are the ones that are really good. and tell her not to stop baking fruit cake. and that i'll yell at lolo for her once i see him. tell her i'm sorry for not being such a good roomate and for falling short of being a good grandchild.

tell mom... hmmm.. what would i tell mom? haha! tell mom that... G and A can take care of themselves, mara and rolo can't. tell her rolo needs to be treated like a boy not a baby. tell her that dad's trying real hard. and that he needs her. tell her that things will get better and that yelling isn't always the answer. tell her to listen to mara. she has a lot to say too. tell her that throughout everything i still love her.

tell dad to stop drinking coke light. his stomach will just get bigger. tell him that i love him very much. and i promise he'll get his farm and his british SUV one day. tell him i'm sorry i wasn't able to help out. that's what i wanted to do. that's ALL i wanted to do. help out. and tell him i'm sorry i didn't get to. get the money from my wallet (it's in my drawer) and go to hongkong and eat there. tell him thanks for all the times he took me out, just the two of us to all those restaurants. i'm sorry
that i owe him and i wasn't able to do anything to pay him back. love daddy.

tell rolo that my charizard is still way better than all of his pokemon. tell him to watch naruto, too.. and gatekeepers. im sure he'll love both. tell him that he's smart and that he shouldn't waste it. make gago mara for me, cuz i know he can. tell him to try out for debate once he gets into highschool, it'll help him a lot. tell him to try to play a sport cuz that'll help him a lot too.
tell him to keep smiling cuz he has the gift of making everyone happy. tell him to stop dancing ballet cuz he'll just get teased in school. tell him i'm sorry if i keep picking on him and pinning him down and tickling him and making fun of his ears and teeth but that only means i love him so so much.

tell mara not to be emo. tell her that everything's going to turn out for the better, whatever happens. tell her not to stop dancing cuz that's what she's really good at. make sure she tries out. cuz i know she wants it. tell her that boys aren't everything. tell her that she could get silver if she only tried harder and focused on what she was doing. tell her to pay attention in class. and tell her to stop procrastinating. tell her i love her, even if i've never said it to her. even if she has been an evil little sister who used to bite me and pull my hair.

on to friends.. hehe..

to mole: tell her i love her. tell her to relax. and tell her i'm sorry. blue's going to do well under her, i'm sure. tell her that she's done so much for me. she made me realize a lot. and that things turn up good. always. i can prove it to her. *hugg*tell her that she can talk to me if she wants.. i'll be listening to her all the time. i'll be watching her.. bwahaha! :D

to chesca: tell her that boys aren't everything. partying isn't everything. but tell her i'm proud of her that she's doing real well in school. tell her she'll get into ateneo and stop worrying. and that she's really funny. and to be careful cuz there'll be a whole lot other freaky people out there too. take care.
to dc: tell her that i'm proud of her. that she'll make it in comm. tell her to keep acting and to keep singing. and keep doing what she's doing cuz she's doing real well. tell her to study, she can get gold. she's a math genius. tell her to keep smiling and to relax. her perfect dude'll come too. don't worry.

to tracy: tell her she really does belong in africa. if not, afghanistan. tell her that she'll always be my first friend (ever since rosemont) and that the power rangers rule. thank her for me. tell her i'm proud of her. and good luck with puso. she's doing well.

to karla: i'm proud of her. she's become so so so responsible with her softball team. she's doing great as captain. tell her thanks for all the laughy laughy times and all the kwentos and for being a hell of a friend. for all the times we "hung" at her place.. haha! oh.. and ask my sister to give her the notebook. it's yellow and it's on the desk next to my mirror in my room. tell her not to worry and to keep smiling.

to paula: tell her i know she and squishy aren't together cuz she gives him gifts and he gives her gifts and they go out a whole lot. and that he'll punch some dude for liking her. hahaha! tell her to take care. take things easy. tell her i'm proud of
her, she's doing so well... in everything. tell her not to make fun of you guys too much. oh.. and make fun of her for me once in awhile. haha!

to jo: tell her THANK YOU SO MUCH. tell her i love her! and give her a hugg for me. tell her that i'm glad that we got to bond semi a lot this year. it's nice to just get to talk and let out sometimes. especially since she's a great listener. tell her not to fight with her puppy too much. tell her to take care of herself. i know she can but just be careful. MANY MANY people love her very much.

to monica: tell her to believe in herself. she's an amazing leader and she can pull gold off. tell her that the first thing she has to do is to calm down. and then think. she can do this. i know her. tell her i'm sorry i won't be her 911 girl anymore but tell her i love her for being my labour girl. if she ever needs to talk, i'll always be there to listen. ooo, i'll be watching her too. tell her to be good! books before boys. be good! and monica paraso sounds better than the other one. haha!

to tina: tell her i love her very much. though we weren't classmates for the longest time neither are we in the same barkada anymore, it feels like we never really drifted too far. at least not far enough that we can't still talk and rant. thank her for me. for listening to me. and for editing my canto. tell her that i know she'll do well in creative writing. tell her good luck and to take care of herself. hug her for me and tell her not to eat too much sweets.

to farida: tell her to be GOOD. stop it na. to carissa: tell her jack's mannequin is the bestest, so is something corporate.. basta.. andrew macmahon. pinch katrina real hard for me and tell her i know she's a big softy inside. tell her not to feel bad that she can't make fun of me cuz i know she'll miss me for that.. hahaha!

to navey: crack nav's knuckle for me, would you? and tell her that things left is the direction to where her hand that doesn't write is at and right is the one that does right. they're homonyms so tell her to remember. tell her she's magnificent and totally kind. i can't comprehend how she is just so.. open to everyone, so kind and so patient. tell her though, that once she gets to college, she has to be careful and take care of herself. everyone loves her. tell her not to worry and to take things slowly. tell her i love her.

to lovey: hug her at the waist for me. thank her for making things uber light. tell her i'll miss her and her ditz sidekicks(eluel and leco). tell her that she will find her hott foreign rich dude eventually and that she's going to be real successful and happy. tell her not to shop too too much cuz the stores will run out of supply for her demand. take it slow. tell her that she's really lucky and that i love her very much. and that i'm grateful for getting close to her cuz it's cuz of her that i laugh and smile and get to move on. she's amazing. tell her i'm sorry for all the times i got her pissed and all the times i got pissed at her. but let her know how much i love her, ok?

Frasquita,

i owe you this. really. i do.

have i ever told you how much i love you? i guess not cuz it's so easy to just say "i love you", i mean.. i could just say i love you to anyone and i could just say it to you and you can't really tell the difference, now can you? i guess you already know though. well, at least have an idea. you know everything bout me. scary. but true. but.. i hope at least i've shown you how much i do. and i hope you got the idea, somewhat.

i'm going to miss you, pilfer. all the emailing (which we don't do anymore), all the texting (oh, we still do that.. ), all the phone calls (talking about nonsense sometimes, or you practicing for your big break as a cartoon background sound maker, or talking about problems and... me talking about how i feel), all the chats (... yeah...) , all the hanging out and all the stuff that you've gotten me into (the things you make me read and the things you make me watch, haha!).

i'm sorry, oyabun. i'm sorry for always bombarding you with my depressing thoughts, i know it gets you down sometimes, many times actually and i'm sorry. i'm sorry for not being able to be there for you all the time, for not being able to make you feel better all the time and to cheer you up when you need it. i'm sorry for being so ignorant, not knowing when you're feeling bad and when you're ok, for not being able to read you the way you read me. i try.. hard. but sometimes it's not enough. i'm sorry if my criticism doesn't help you sometimes. i'm sorry i forget that it's your bedtime at 10:30 sometimes. i'm sorry that i keep teasing your grade 3 love. or.. not love, rather. and to trouble-magnet, sweet writer, stupid, smart, 3 and small-ey. i'm sorry for being so strubborn. and so impulsive. i know you hate it and i'm sorry i wasn't able to change fast enough. i'm sorry that i can't ever be good and i can't ever rely on myself. i'm sorry i bore you sometimes. i'm sorry that you have to take care of me all the time. i'm sorry i'm so emotional. and i say sorry and thank you a billion times. i'm sorry that i've pissed you off so many more times these past 6 months than all the time we've known each other. i'm sorry i'm so kulit telling you to drink your medicine and rest and all that when you're sick. and when you're still up at 10:31. i'm sorry i'm so KSP and so conceited. i'm sorry for making promises and breaking them, really.. i can never forgive myself for doing that. i don't know why you put up with me, i seriously don't know why you do.

thank you, shdowmus. for being there when my life changed drastically and i needed someone to turn to. for reprimanding me. for being good and making me want to change and be good. for being with me when i'm down. for listening to me when no one would. for being trustworthy. for cheering me up. for being able to read me as well as you can. for knowing every single bit about me and still not leaving me alone. for being so patient in letting me vent out everything. and in teaching me stuff for school. for making things light. for always being there and being ready to listen to me. for hugging me back when i need a hug. for consoling me. for confiding and trusting me (you do, right? haha!). thank you for sharing yourself. for calming me down all the time (i know i needed a lot of that). for giving me hope, reminding me that things'll be ok. for forgiving me every single time. for being so selfless. for introducing arima and all the others.. hehe.. and thank you so much for making me feel like i mattered.

i know you've prolly heard most of these thank you's and sorry's but hey.. this is the last time you'll ever have to hear it,
right? haha..

i'm proud of you, phil. you've done so much already. i'm proud of the yearbook. i'm proud of all the gold certificates you've gotten. all the people you've tutored. all the plaid files you've made. all the green and yellow stickers you've made. all the sermons you've given and i'm proud of who you are and of you being so good. i'm proud to say that i knew you. i can't say i contributed to any of that or any of who you are now. but i'm proud to be able to see you change and to see that you really are amazing. don't ever lose confidence in yourself. believe you can do it. cuz i know you can. i've seen you work and i promise you can. all you need to do is want it. you'll get it, i promise. the fact that people know you can do it must mean you can, right? don't be afraid of disappointing others cuz they already are very proud of you. it's ok to fail. it's ok to get lost. it's ok to make mistakes. otherwise, how else will we know what to improve on, right? everything happens for a reason, right? right.
so yeah..

bye buggy.
i love you.
no regrets. :D
p.s. it's ok to be emotional sometimes.. :D *gives mr. frog the tightest hug ever*

Dear Kat,

I'm sorry. I know that I've made so many things go wrong for you last year. But know that, i didn't want to. I could never want to. Last year, it was though I'd lost two people. You and lolo, two most important to me. I know that you wouldn't forgive me all that fast. I respect that you wouldn't. Though I wish that you could've seen things the way I saw it, I guess I'm largely at fault. I'm sorry.

Thanks, Kat. You know that you were one of the people I trusted the most. I hardly do ever trust and I thank you for being one of the few I could confide in. For all the gago times we've had when we'd just dance to the stupidest songs, or play basketball, or when I'd practice my hairdressing skills on you, or sing to our medley, or try to stuff 14 grapes into my mouth, or we'd just talk the whole day, thanks. Thanks for being my best friend, especially when I had no one. Ü

Might not hear from me for quite awhile. Actually maybe ever. But i just needed you to know that I'm terribly sorry, that I'm awfully grateful and that I love you. Ü

Mica

if i could ask..

If I could ask God one question, I'd ask him if my lolo were there with him.

My lolo was such a big part of my life. He got me into a lot of things. I'd call my lolo my second dad. Just last year, lolo died of cancer. I've always wondered how he is and where he is now. Though it's somewhat been a long time, from time to time, I find myself wondering what it'd be like to still have lolo here, what'd happen if he were alive right now. Then again, I always find myself hoping that he's happier than he ever could be with us. I just really hope he is.

If I could ask someone any question, I'd ask Machiavelli why the end justifies the means.

daddy dearest..

Everyone was doing their moms so I thought i'd do dad. I'm closer to him anyways so all's good.. Ü

1. What was the funniest thing I did when I was a baby?
When lola sang in the car, you were two, and it was sintonado, you started going crazy and hitting the plastic bags with your diaper. Or, when I dressed you up as a carpenter and you'd walk around acting like one.

2. What was my first word?
I can't remember.. hahaha.. ask mom.

3. What was my first food/favorite food?
Ice. You'd eat anything as long as you had ice beside you. Then you'd suck on it and throw it around. Lola's carpet was so wet because of that.

4. What was the craziest thing you did when you were a student?
We had a class and our teacher got mad, my friend and i were the only ones quiet. After a while, we started following the other people and then the teacher told my dad about it.

5. How did you and mom meet?
In the office. We were trading. Then we started going out as a barkada. I didn't know that your mom had her eyes on me. (my dad.. as usual.. hayy.. him and his semi conceited self.. haha!)

6. If you could do anything other than what you are doing now, what would it be?
A scientist maybe.

7. Tell me a secret you kept from your parents.
That i smoked, for two weeks then i stopped.

8. Tell me something about you that I still don't know.
Oh, that's hard. I dunno. I always tell you everything. (aww! haha!!)

hayy.. ok.. back to work.. so many things to do.. weh..

who am i?

Most of my friends call me Mica. Generally, people know me as Mica Peña. Others call me Pens, my close friends call me Mics, and at home I’m known as Mic. I was born on July 29, 1989 in Makati. When I was four, I started playing the piano although I’ve been drawn in to music even long before that. I now play the guitar and the piano, however much my piano teacher disapproves of it. Probably the only thing that could equal my love for music would be my love for basketball. I’ve loved it since I could remember. Looking back on my childhood, some of my fondest memories include playing basketball with my dad. At 6, I was an avid fan of the Chicago Bulls.

Over time, my taste in music and my favorite basketball team have changed as well as my fashion sense and my favorite food. I love rock. I love Muse, Jimmy Eat World, Something Corporate, Yellowcard, Dashboard Confessional, and Taking Back Sunday and if I’d keep naming my favorite bands, the list would go on forever. Although I love rock, my musical preference is pretty flexible. I like listening to pop, Broadway, hip-hop, R&B, jazz, disco, even opera –anything but country. One thing that’d totally make my day is having the L. A. Lakers win. I love the Lakers. Though I don’t get to watch as much basketball as I used to, I try to follow them still. My favorite fashion brands would have to be Abercrombie and Fitch, American Eagle and Vans. For the top spot in my favorite food list, there’d be a tie between Italian and Japanese food. I love American food too (In n Out is HEAVEN!).

My hobbies however don’t just end in music and basketball. I love photography. I love taking pictures. Beach pictures are my favorite. This goes alongside my other passion, directing. I love movies. I love big productions. I love being behind the scenes and making everything work. I felt ultimately fulfilled doing Macbeth last year. “Macbeth: Murder on the Dance Floor” was the title of our class’ musical production. It was perfect. It was the most fun thing that I’d done in a long time, however stressful and tiring it was. And because of it being tiring, stressing and fun, having everything turn out great was just overwhelming. One of my ultimate dreams ever is to be a director and both produce and direct my own movies.

I believe in trying your best in everything you do. I believe in giving your best all the time. I think it’s safe to say I’m a perfectionist. And like most people in the batch, I’m a very competitive spirit. However I do love having a good time and just letting things go by now and then. To me, nothing beats having a good time because I believe that in the end, those are the things you’re going to remember. You won’t remember what you won, or what you lost, what you will remember for the rest of your life however was how much fun you had and how much you learned from it, which I think, is ultimately important.

I value my family, of course. Being the eldest, I guess taking care of your siblings instinctively becomes your priority. The truth is I never really realized how much I cared for my siblings and how much I really love them ‘til summer of last year. We were supposed to move to the States last year and my dad got left behind to fix up back here. And because of this, I ended up taking care of my siblings and I realized just how much I love them. It was because of this that I realized how much my parents meant to me. I value my faith as well. I firmly believe that there is someone out there who helps us. Lastly, but definitely not the least, I value my friends. I guess you only learn the true value of friendship once you’ve made the right friends and you’ve found your true friends. And I learned the true value of friendship last year. I’m really glad to have the friends I have now. They’re the people who get me. The people I can trust whole-heartedly. I was never really trusting of people neither was I confident in people ‘til I met the friends I have now. I feel truly blessed to have them.

They say that the choices you make and the friends you have make up you who you are. I think so too. Our choices in life, in everything, no matter how tiny a decision it may seem or how big and important a choice may be, each and everyone of our choices make up to who we are. So if someone were to ask me who I was, I’d give them a list of things I believe in, things I enjoy, and things I value.

simple truth.

no regrets. whatever happens, happens for a reason.